FOOD REVIEW: Family Meal. Meh.

It Ain't Auntie's Chicken, It's Her Friend's.

So we went to Family Meal, and not one family meal in sight! Picture that!

Ever since its inception, I’ve never visited. I thought it was another snobby restaurant where you get stares when you walk in. Did we get stares? Yes. But the atmosphere wasn’t as snobby.

After thumbing through the menu, there were no meals to choose from. It was divyed up by section: Apps, Starters, Share, etc. All items were separate as opposed to what a customer would expect given the restaurant name.

The deviled egg had an aftertaste I still can’t put my finger on. Hot sauce? Mustard? I guess I’ll never know. It’s consistency was smooth and creamy, they looked gosh -darn beautiful, but the taste was…interesting.

I ordered wings as an appetizer because I’m a wing connoisseur, Secretary of the Wings Wonderland Association(WWA). I take my position seriously. I ordered the Carolina BBQ wings but I think received the Old Bay instead. No worries, I’m easy to please on the wing front.

Except I’m not. These are the wings my Ma throws in the deep fryer when there’s nothing left to cook. And still today, I don’t know whether it was old bay or bbq wings. Maybe it was neither, maybe they forgot the sauce or rub cause they were pretty naked.

The fried chicken entree was plentiful—a 5 piece plate that equals the $16.99 value—with pickled veggies and biscuits on the side. Are pickled sides a bourgeois thing? Because I still don’t get it.

Tender. Juicy. Well done.

Compared to real, southern fried chicken, it doesn’t hold a flame. The hot (Buffalo?) sauce on the side was definitely appreciated. Thanks.

As my date’s meal arrived, the cheddar and jalapeño biscuits looked mouth-watering. My fat ass was envisioning the taste just based on the look alone. Fluffy, warm, with hints of cheese and spice. I urged my date to try it in a hurry. What we found? Disappointment.

“Air. It tasted like air.” Now I wouldn’t go that far, but it was underwhelming and another shock to our tastebuds that were growing weary at this point. And bored with the dull flavors.

I, for some reason, was expecting a mac like Serenity Tearoom. Creamy, stovetop with a signature. It was clearly baked but was lacking in cheese and made the macaroni a little dry. The gooeyness was deceiving, it was only on the surface. Fork a little deeper, and you’ll be collecting/stabbing macaroni one by one to make a mouthful.

[READ: Food Review: Serenity Tearoom]

The southern cuisine was very beginner-like. All seemed like novice attempts. The dishes lacked seasoning and flavor, originality, looked homemade but not as good as Grandma’s or even your own cooking.

The quality gives a quick whip up in the kitchen vibe, not one you would expect from a highly praised food establishment.

But for its demographic, I assume the flavor and presentation is right on the money. Not impressed. In fact, a disappointed confirmation.

The star of the evening was the masterful Chicken Pot Pie Fritter. In perfectly rounded, a little more than bite size, lightly and firmly breaded balls, is a mini pot pie in the middle. Crack that thing open and you’ll see heaven. Should there be more than 5 in a serving? Sure, but we know that’s an insane request.

On another note, service was impeccable. Fast. It took less than 20 minutes from beginning to end of the restaurant customer experience. Our waiter was clean-cut and genuinely nicer than what we’re used to. He was extremely knowledgeable about the dishes there. Although he went missing during box up and check time, his customer service was impactful enough to not notice. Check out the timeline below:

– 5 mins to be seated
– 6 mins to get appetizers
– 10 mins to get entrees

Wowzers. I don’t think they can be beat in service. It was a memorable experience. Especially being hungry as hell with the munchies.

Ever been? Tell us your experience!

Family meal, and we didn’t see a muthaf*ckin’ meal on the menu. Picture that…

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