4 Things to Know When Dating In Frederick

January 22, 2017
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Ever since high school I’ve pondered about the dating realm in a small but diverse city. From the usual slut-shaming of girls who were accused of going on one too many dates to the cat fights over whose man was whose. The swapping of partners I found to be horrific, unsafe, and unappealing enough for me to back away — quickly. But then again it was high school.

Not to my surprise, however, this storyline repeated well into college at FCC, you know, 13th grade. Now as a young adult and college grad, I tread lightly, now to the point of nonexistence when it comes to the opposite sex in Frederick. I developed my strategy and stuck with it. I gravitate toward one of these prototypes at any given moment of attack, aka a guy coming on to me: the down to earth “one of the guys” tomboy, the too intimidating-but pretty tough girl, the always-wears-a-scowl bitch, or my most used, the on-a-mission-looking-past-you busy woman. Works like a charm. A couple of these mechanisms have since been retired post-high school graduation. I’ve evolved as a young woman to be more open-minded and less of a jerk, thank God, although young men who’ve known me since then have trouble re-adjusting, but I digress.

Now I find myself at a crossroad. Can someone explain how to date a guy in Frederick? I’m a novice. I just don’t understand the process. Is there some kind of initiation with Frederick broads, posting his picture on the “I’ve Already F*cked Him” bulletin board, having a board meeting or conference with his exes, or some right of passage? It seems I have been scarred from the romance horror stories over the years. So if you find yourself in similar predicaments, here is my personal list on How To Date In Frederick.

1. Caution.

Never rush into it. Learn his background before proceeding. This research can be conducted through the company he keeps. If he’s close friends with that slore from TJ, Class of 2009, chances are he’s extremely stupid, has already slept with her and her friends (either consecutively or simultaneously), or is a slore himself.

2. Social Media Is Your Friend.

If he doesn’t have a page either on FB, IG, or Twitter (at the minimum and no tweets have been made in the last month), chances are he’s hiding from the police, his stalker-baby mother, or has no friends. (Actually I prefer mine introverted and antisocial.)

3. Keep it private.

If you do end up dating him or her, disregard #2 and follow #1 because social media will be your quickest way to your demise. Be ready for his old beau’s “screenshotting” tactics and sending your relationship status to her friends who then in turn may randomly send you a friend request and harass your life. But that happens everywhere, not only here. Moving on.

4. A continuation of #1…

Know his history. Once again, a Frederick woman or man’s true colors can easily be revealed by his or her filter-less friends. Are they party girls/boys? Are they smokers? Drinkers? Do they sleep with multiple partners? Are they popular? Are they troublemakers or seekers? These questions can be easily answered by asking a few people. And while you’re asking, never reveal your intentions. That spreads quickly too. Next thing you know, the wench from 10th grade who wants to sleep with him told him you don’t brush your teeth and now your reputation is ruined. Hey, true story.

Sounds crazy right? Unfortunately, no matter where you date, it’s going to be rough. That’s just the nature of the beast in this era. So be careful, be smart, and have fun! It’s a mess out there! What are your tips and tricks to dating in Frederick? Leave your comments below!

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